Of Men and Sex...

It's really getting out of control... It has to end. How is it that sex... or rather, the attainment of sex... has taken over my life? With graduation 2 days away, instead of my future and a career, visions of hard penises and earth shattering orgasms have taken over my brain waves. The worst part is... there's nothing I can do about it! It seems as though I am clueless when it comes to selecting GD (good dick). Absolutely clueless. And it feels as though the older I get, the worst my selections become. I'll just blame it on Boston. I just need to leave this damn city and find a whole new crop of men. Fine, sexy, educated, black men with big hard dicks that can bang my back out. Excuse my explicitness but that's just the type of mood I'm in right now. My sexual looseness needs some refinement. I mean, I'm all for being as freaky as you wanna be. I am certifiably try-sexual (I'll try anything once). But how can I develop the sexual beast I know lurks within without a proper partner to help me bring it out?

The idea of celibacy has crossed my mind a few times. But... it's really not a realistic option. I love sex way too much. Celibacy is an attractive option simply because I like the idea of being free of the chains of dick and possibly maybe even reach some clarity in dealing with some of the other things going on in my life these days... ie. homelessness, joblessness, etc. Anyways, I'll probably be forced into celibacy if things don't change soon.

I'm starting to understand a little better my bad selection in men. I don't think I have high enough standards. If a guy is sexy enough, he can basically get it. I never consider that older, sophisticated men would be interested in me. Not that I don't know I'm fly and all, I guess I'm just intimidated. That's probably why I'm always robbing cradles. I dunno man. I think that celibacy may be what I need soo that I can clear my head and refine my ideas of acceptablility when it comes to men and sex.